Interview with Aspira Bolton Mills Retirement Living family member, Fredina Elliot

What impresses me the most about Bolton Mills is more than just one element. One is the design and the footprint of the actual building and how the facilities are laid out, making it easily accessible by the residents… Every area is thoughtfully designed so that there isn't a large distance between, say, coming off the elevators and getting to the dining room or to the games room or to the library areas within the building itself. 

Number two, I'm incredibly impressed by the compassion, empathy [and] commitment by people that work there. Second to none… When we walked into Bolton Mills, we instantly felt that element of family, caring people being very interested in my mother, her life story, some of her challenges, what kind of help she needed. It’s prevalent in everything that they do, whether it be the medical assistants or kitchen staff or individuals running the activities.

From a day to day perspective, we’re privy to a calendar that they publish. So we, as family members, know exactly what activities are being planned every single day, every single week, every single month, and those activities that our family member has participated in. It gives us a glimpse into what's happening in Bolton Mills.

In terms of improvement, one aspect is the social interaction with people her own age. She lived in a home by herself after my dad passed away, and it was far too large for her as a single person. Living there on multi levels required a lot of work, both inside and outside in terms of upkeep and maintenance…I think she felt quite lonely because the day is very long for an individual that [are] just sitting, watching TV [or] talking on the phone for a few minutes here and there. Once she arrived at Bolton Mills, suddenly there was a community for her, an opportunity to share stories or hear somebody else's story. 

The other element is there's a physio program [there]. When she lived at home, [she] wouldn't really be motivated to do any kind of physical activity. As much as we tried to encourage her as family she really wasn't really wanting to do it. [Now] she is diligent every single day. When there is a physio program offered, she goes. It’s excellent for her physical and mental well being. 

Another element [of improvement] would be [over] her meals at home. We were, as a family, going in and providing, like one meal a day. When we weren't there, we relied on her to either warm up food or to have leftovers and things like that [to ensure] she gets three very good meals a day. [Now] she walks down to the dining room… She interacts with people… there's that social environment, and she gets great nutrition as well.

Her demeanor is far more positive than it would otherwise have been. She was not doing quite well at home alone. We were constantly worried. There wasn't anyone that she welcomed in terms of staying with her full time to make sure that she was safe. [In] the Bolton Mills community, she is much safer [and] happier than she would have been in her own home. She laughs, she smiles, she talks, she reminisces. That's very much my mother, because she's a very bubbly, happy person. We see a lot of that in this positive environment.

Every individual [there] understands fully the responsibilities and what their expectations of their work and contribution is. [They] have done an exceptional job recruiting people that understand and uphold those values… Employees of Bolton Mills have bonded together and they have made it work [during the pandemic]. 

[The relief has been] absolutely immense. We were all worried constantly about mom. ‘Was she eating? Was she sleeping?’ She had fallen a number of times, and we could see the frequency of falls increasing. Her home was too large for her. It was getting old… The outside had lots of gardens and fruit trees and everything else… We also worried about her because her health declining physically, mentally, and she was not happy…. [Now] I'm not worried about her anywhere as close as I used to… She is getting superior caregiving and care and love.  

Probably the number one thing that gives me comfort is knowing that she's happy and she's safe and she's being well cared for… If anything is noted by the residents and or even the employees at Bolton Mills, I get phone calls. We have conversations. If the doctor who goes into this notices something, then the PSW or the nurse will call me to have a conversation with me. It's very open, lots of communication.

Our very first impression was extremely good, walking in. There were residents that were sitting in the common area. There's a piano available… The second time we went back somebody was playing the piano [and] I thought, well, that's wonderful. They have a TV on. That’s the common area. And then around it has built some of the other rooms, like the library, and there's a TV room or theater room. And there’s another area where they sometimes do some community cooking or baking. Everything is in one convenient area. 

Secondly, the types of rooms that were available were quite extensive. Mom's suite is very nice. I say that also in comparison to other residences that we went to visit. She has a one bedroom suite. It's about 550 sq ft. So it gives her a separate living area with a couch and a chair, TV and tables, and a coffee table. It has a little kitchenette, a sink with running water and a full fridge. And she has a large bathroom as well, accommodated by a walk-in shower and a sink with a cabinet and a toilet. So it gives her lots of room to move around because she uses a walker. It also gives family a nice place to visit. This is like her new home. When we visit, she feels like she is entertaining [us]. It gives her some pride to do that.

It's hard to think about placing your mom in a retirement home…You have to come to that realization, whether you're a son or brother, sister, anybody who's involved in making that decision has to say: ‘What's going to keep mom the safest and what place is going to make her the happiest?’ Bolton Mills hit it on every single element that we were looking for.