Intimacy, the Fourth Stage of Dating
In our last advice on relationships blog, we focused on what a man needs to know in order to develop emotional intimacy with his woman. Now we’ll spend time on the primary challenge of this stage of dating for women.Just as a woman’s feelings tend to rise and fall as a result of increasing intimacy, men experience the need to get close and then pull away. Yes! Men are like rubber bands!
The more intimate a man becomes with a woman, the more he will sometimes feel a need to get some distance. Each time he pulls away, his love has a chance to grow as he experiences missing her and wanting to be close again.
This basic back-and-forth urge is in all men. As this is against a woman’s basic instinct, it is difficult for her to support her man in the process. As a result, she may unknowingly sabotage the growth of a man’s love and attraction for her.
When a man pulls away, it’s important that a woman doesn’t panic. Avoid pursuing him or trying to convince him to return. A man needs to feel that his woman freely accepts his need for space. A wise woman encourages her man to take some time away and in doing so allows him to win her attention over and over again.
In time, his need to pull away will diminish as emotional intimacy deepens. A man’s tendency to pull away is most extreme when he experiences intimacy before he is ready. If a man gets close to a woman before he has experienced chemistry on all four levels – physical, emotional, mental and spiritual – he may not come back when he pulls away. If he has not experienced enough love, then the rubber band breaks.
So what’s the best advice on relationships when it comes to building emotional intimacy with your man? If you have taken your time in the first three stages of dating, accept his walk-about as what men do … and prepare your heart for when his desire brings him back to you.
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Related links:
The Wisdom of Waiting
Looking for Love on Valentine's Day
Dating After Divorce: 10 Tips from the Trenches
Inspiring Seniors: True Love