Handle Rejection and Thrive - The Art of Kindness Part 2
People experience rejection in all facets of life. From the personal to professional, we’ve all experienced rejection on some level, in some way, from someone. If you’re dating, the chances are very high that you’ve experienced rejection.
When you are rejected in a romantic or social relationship, it can have a real impact on your psyche. However, if you keep a few key things in mind, you can handle rejection, learn from the situation and thrive.
It can be particularly hard to deal with especially when things appear to be going so well between the two of you. You share the same values, you share the same interests, the same sense of humour. It appears that this is the one and your search is over. Then out of the blue-BAM! Hundreds of thoughts go through your mind? Was it something I said? Was it something I did? Did I act too desperate? Was I intimate too soon? I don’t understand. We were so good together.
6 Tips on How to Handle Rejection:
- It’s not you, it’s them: It’s normal that you feel this way. It stings and you may have feelings of unworthiness. “What’s wrong with me?,” “Why don’t you see how good I am for you?” This is our ego talking and it’s bruised and tender. However, you don’t know what’s going on in the other person’s life and what they’re dealing with. They may enjoy spending time with you, but they simply cannot return your feelings and made a valiant effort. You deserve more and you are worthy of an emotionally fulfilling relationship.
- Accept rejection gracefully: Don’t be angry or manipulative. Whatever is meant to be, will be. If you’re not together now, obviously they were not the person for you. Try and accept the news gracefully. Stay strong and proud. If you’re positive and have faith in yourself, you will not be down for too long. It didn’t work out with the person, but there really are many more fish in the sea.
- Take off your rose-coloured glasses: When someone breaks up with us, we often look back at past events and only remember the good times. Sometimes we remember past events in a more positive light than how they really happened. However, take a second look and you will find things weren’t so rose-coloured. Were there times when they weren’t so attentive to you? Did they often flirt with other men or women and made you feel jealous? Were they rarely affectionate with you? Looking at the past objectively will help you put things into perspective. You’ll see that things weren’t as happy, healthy or rosy as you’d like to think they were.
- To be friends or not to be friends, that is the question: Although things didn’t result in a romantic relationship, you may feel a desire to stay friends. This is recommended only if you truly value the person and you know that they are decent, kind and respectful. We can always use one more friend in our lives and you never know who you will meet through their connections. Keep an open mind only if there is a mutual agreement to maintain a friendship.
- Learning from the past: Don’t think about the past as wasted time. We learn something about ourselves and the type of person we want to be with. After every relationship, you move closer to your ideal partner and you learn from mistakes. Just because you’re not together, does not mean its wasted time. You’re wiser going into the next one.
- Knowing when to move on: Sometimes we can get ourselves into situations that are unhealthy and we get stuck in an emotional loop. Sometimes we trick ourselves into believing that the relationship we’re in is exactly what we want and we are in control. You may think that if this is all you can get from the other person, it’s good enough to satisfy your needs. However, sometimes people take advantage of your emotional availability for their own benefit. If you suspect that they are not deep down a decent person, you need to cut it off completely.
We’re all just balls of energy bumping into each other and sometimes, when there’s attraction, we stick. Other times, we just ricochet off each other hoping to stick elsewhere. It’s such a wondrous feeling to meet someone and stick. Hang in there, stay positive and take care of yourself. You are your number one priority. And remember, every time you experience rejection, you get closer to the happiness you seek.
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How do you let someone down easily? Share your thoughts in the Comments section below.
Related:
Online Dating and The Lost Art of Kindness - Part 1
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